Finding Gratitude + Joy in Your Relationship
Practicing Thanksgiving within Your Relationship
Photo by Lucas Lenzi on Unsplash
Thanksgiving is later this week and I am shocked at how quickly 2022 has flown by. My life changed dramatically in 2022. I got engaged in Iceland back in January 2022, got married to my incredible husband in July at Lake Sunapee, went on an amazing 3-week honeymoon to Europe, came home to find my sister had gotten engaged, and now my husband and I are on the hunt for the perfect house or piece of land to purchase as our first home together! Just thinking about all that makes me tired and shocks me that so much has happened in my life in 2022. So much that I am so immensely thankful and grateful for!
Someone once told me that happiness is external and that joy is internal. In fact, the Bible only mentions “happy/happiness” only 10 times, whereas it mentions “joy”, and “joyfulness” 430 times. The world around us loves to focus on the external things that make us happy for a moment but struggles to convey the importance of finding inner joy - the joy that is mentioned 430 times in the Bible. God wants us to seek joy in our lives, not necessarily to pursue happiness. Joy comes from living in gratitude, being enthusiastic about living, and keeping your heart centered on God.
Someone wrote “the Greek translation of joy is CHARA, derived from the word CHARIS, which is the Greek word for GRACE. This is important to note, for it tells us categorically that chara is produced by charis of God. This means that joy is not a human-based happiness that comes and goes. Rather, true joy is Divine in origin. It is a Spirit-given expression that flourishes best in hard times.”
“Chara is produced by Charis of God” ==> Joy is produced by the grace of God. Our joy comes from God. With Him, we can live a truly joyful life. Through Him, we can find joy in even the smallest things, on the hardest and darkest of days. I encourage you first and foremost to look to God for your joy when you are struggling to find joy in your life.
“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.” Philippians 4:4
Thanksgiving is the perfect holiday to really help you pause and reflect on what has happened in your life, what in your life you’re thankful and joyful for, and how you and your partner have approached the changes and challenges that came your way in 2022. We’ve had a tumultuous past few years as a country and members of the world and taking the time this holiday season to reflect and find gratefulness, love, joy, and appreciation for those in our lives is important. Taking the time to share your appreciation and gratitude with your friends and family can help create stronger relationships in your life.
Taking time to rest, relax, and recharge is incredibly important to you personally and to the joy, success, and happiness of your relationship with your partner. So many of us are struggling with anxiety, stress, overwhelm, exhaustion, feeling stuck, and struggling with difficult decisions in our lives that we may not always show up as the best versions of ourselves. And when we don’t show up as the best versions of ourselves, we often show our partners the worst versions of ourselves. It’s so easy to take our stress, frustration, and exhaustion out on our partner because they are there - present in your life for these moments, and they can easily become a target if you’re not taking care of yourself and getting the rest and recharge that you need.
So this holiday season, I’m inviting you to pause and take some time to spend with God, to truly rest, put the phone, and get away from the TV and computer screens. Rest your eyes from those screens and your brain from all the toxicity that is often in our news feeds. Go hiking, camping, or even a nice long walk after your delicious Thanksgiving meal. Spend some time in prayer and meditation. Get outside and get some fresh air. Bring your partner with you and share your top 5 or top 10 things that you’re each most thankful for this year. And then get some much-needed sleep this weekend. Instead of staying up until 12 and 1 am for those Black Friday deals, go to bed at a decent hour and get outside this Friday.
Feel the sun on your face, the fresh air in your lungs, and do something fun with your partner. Play a game outside. Be kids again. You can play hide-and-seek, capture the flag (if you have friends or family staying with you), build a snowman if there’s already snow in your part of the US, rake the last of the fallen leaves and jump in the leaf pile, and once you’re chilled from playing outside, go instead and play a board or card game; Scrabble, Chess, Monopoly, Dutch Blitz, Brandi Dog, anything that you find enjoyable! And if you don’t like board or card games, build a puzzle together, do an at-home paint night together, play would-you-rather, or ask each other questions to check in and possibly learn something new together! If you’re looking for questions to ask, you can download my Top 25 Conversation Starter Questions to Ask Your Partner list.
This holiday season, actively spend time with your partner, family, and friends. Make the decision to rest and recharge as well. Don’t prioritize everyone else’s needs over your own. Enjoy your alone time and your quality time with loved ones - but keep it balanced. This time only comes around once a year and so many things can change unexpectedly in the next year - so take the time to fully enjoy this holiday season. And if you’re struggling with finding gratitude and gratefulness for your partner, check out my 2021 blog for 10 Ways to Practice Gratitude in Your Relationship! We can all use gentle reminders on how to seek gratitude in our lives and I encourage you to explore ways you can practice gratitude in your relationship this holiday season. Let me know what you share and how your partner responded! I can’t wait to hear about the joy and gratefulness you express this year! Happy Thanksgiving!
“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24
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Thumbnail Photo by Lucas Lenzi on Unsplash
