A Foundation of Friendship
Photo by Woody Kelly on Unsplash
Do you consider your partner your best friend? Are they the first person you turn to when you have exciting news or when things get tough? Do you depend on their support? Are you a good friend to your partner? Being best friends with your partner is important. It dramatically increases the happiness of your relationship if you consider your partner your best friend. A 2017 study found “those who are best friends with their partners have the largest well-being benefits from marriage and cohabitation… the well-being benefits of marriage are on average about twice as large for those whose spouse is also their best friend.”
Now, you might be thinking that you have passion and romance in your relationship, so why is friendship so important? Well, passion and romance can fade over time. And strong relationships last when they are based on companionate love, rather than passionate love. Companionate love is also known as affectionate love, friendship-based love, or attachment. Companionate love is “strong and durable. Not only do companionate lovers reports feeling extremely committed to each other and desirous of maintaining their relationships, but levels of companionate love tend to remain stable over time within dating couples. The ability to withstand - and perhaps grow stronger over the passage of time, is one feature that distinguishes companionate love from other, more fragile varieties of love, including passionate love or romantic love.”
Not only does companionate love create a stronger foundation for your relationship, but according to the Mayo Clinic, having close friends helps “increase your sense of belonging and purpose, boosts your happiness and reduces your stress, improves your self-confidence and self-worth, helps you cope with traumas, and encourages you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits.”
So as you can see, there are many benefits to being best friends with your partner. Best friends find enjoyment, happiness and satisfaction, meaning and purpose in each other’s company. They bring out the best in each other and help each other to grow. They have fun together and humble each other. They play, joke, and gently tease each other. Best friends make life so much more enjoyable - especially when your partner is your best friend.
7 Ways to Build a Foundation of Friendship with Your Partner
Be authentic. Don’t hide who you are - your personality is what makes you, you. Don’t hide it out of fear of rejection or insecurity.
Honor what your partner shares with you with respect and confidentiality.
Be an active listener. Reflect your understanding back to your partner and don’t listen defensively.
Practice compassion and empathy for your partner’s experiences, whether you understand them or not.
Be honest with your partner, even when lying feels like the easier choice. Being honest can lead to difficult conversations - which can lead to a stronger friendship.
Respect each other’s boundaries and allow each other to maintain your individualism.
Be giving. How can you make their life better? Offer a helping hand, be gentle and loving, don’t hold grudges, and be generous with your forgiveness.
If you are struggling with building a foundation of friendship with your partner, I invite you to schedule a Discovery Call with me! We can explore how relationship coaching can help your relationship with your partner.
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Thumbnail Photo by Woody Kelly on Unsplash
