The Importance of Praying with Your Partner
10 Benefits of Praying with Your Spouse
Prayer is a powerful thing. It can bring you comfort and peace, a sense of hope for what’s to come, and the knowledge that God is listening to you. But prayer is an intensely personal thing. You are sharing your deepest worries, thoughts, and fears with God during this time. Fears and worries that may have to do with your partner, if not solely about them. So how do you start to pray with your partner? And why is praying with your partner so important to the health of your relationship?
Praying and studying the Bible together is not a step that should be taken lightly. This will often lead to a deeper emotional and spiritual connection between you, your partner, and God. Studying the Bible may bring up differing personal beliefs between the two of you and exploring those different beliefs can sometimes feel like you’re walking through a minefield - you’re tense, defensive, and scared of what your partner will say because when you’re talking about personal fundamental beliefs, any contradiction can feel like a personal attack. One that is hard to take because it is your partner who is questioning your beliefs.
Before studying the Bible and praying together, I encourage you to discuss a few boundaries with your partner. Some boundaries that my husband and I have in place when we’re talking about our faiths is that there is no playing devil’s advocate, open minds and open hearts are required, and if one of us starts getting upset, we take a pause and reconvene later to finish our conversation. Another boundary you can set is not to discuss things shared in prayer together until both partners are ready to discuss those issues. Even if you’re not ready to talk about issues with your partner, you can still bring those struggles to God in prayer. Faith is an intensely personal matter and because of this, prayer and studying the Bible are intensely personal.
Once you and your partner have some boundaries in place as to how you’ll approach studying the Bible and praying together, I invite you to start small. Start praying together before every meal, pray together for a family member who is hurting or in need, or pray for a job opportunity that did, or did not come. These are things that couples are often praying for individually and are good baby steps to start praying together for.
Once you feel comfortable praying for these “smaller things” and have developed consistent patterns of prayer, I encourage you to start being more vulnerable when you pray together. You can pray for each other and the things you are struggling with in the relationship with your partner, you can share your fears and worries together in prayer, express your gratitude and appreciation in prayer together, or pray for your future hopes and dreams as a couple. My husband and I always hold hands when we pray together. This helps us feel more comfortable and willing to be vulnerable, simply having a hand to hold during that time in prayer. It’s a reminder that we are there for each other, even in prayer, even over things we may not agree with or don’t understand. And that’s one of the beautiful things about prayer - it can bring people together to worship God and seek His love and comfort. Prayer can do when men cannot, even if we’d like to think otherwise.
10 Benefits of Praying with Your Spouse
Praying with your spouse humbles you. You are recognizing that God knows all things and holds everything in His hands.
Praying together encourages vulnerability and grace.
Praying together helps build intimacy and trust.
Praying together helps teach your spouse what you struggle with and what you need support with.
Praying together strengthens your marriage.
Prayer gives you hope for your future together.
Praying together helps remove selfishness from your marriage and yourselves.
Praying together helps you heal deep hurts.
Prayer creates an appreciation for your partner when you express your gratitude and thankfulness for your partner in prayer.
Praying together can be an invitation to change and work through things together.
God always hears our prayers - even when it doesn’t feel like it. It’s important to remember that God’s plan for your life may be very different from your plan for your life. And God’s timing is His own - He does not need to meet your deadlines or fit into your timelines for your life. God’s answers to your prayers may be “yes”, “no”, “not yet”, or something else. Regardless of what His answer is, He is listening and is always there for us. And that can bring you a sense of hope, love, and purpose.
“For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” Matthew 18:20
Take your time learning how to pray together and study the Bible together. Studying the Bible together will help develop your spiritual intimacy, will create a deeper understanding of God and each other, will create a deeper love and intimacy in your marriage and will help you both to always keep God at the center of your marriage. Keeping God in the center of your marriage is the best way to preserve your marriage - with God all things are possible, including a long and happy marriage with your spouse. I pray that you will invite your partner to pray with you tonight and encourage you to do so regularly.
If you want to pray for your partner before you start praying with your partner, I encourage you to read one of the following books: The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick or The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. Both are great books to help strengthen your relationship and teach you about prayer. If you are struggling with bringing prayer up to your partner, I encourage you to schedule a Discovery Call with me and we can explore how I can help you strengthen your relationship with your partner.
