Building Your Own Holiday Traditions with Your Partner

The Importance of Creating Your Own Holiday Traditions

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

Everyone has holiday traditions that they grew up with and love. Traditions are important in our culture and in our history. Traditions are usually passed down generations because of their importance. That doesn’t mean that every tradition is right, only that traditions are valuable to those who keep them.

When in a relationship, you and your partner may have different traditions that you grew up with. Sometimes it’s easy to blend these traditions together while other times it can turn into a competition of whose traditions are more important.

The truth is, both of your traditions are important to you individually, but what traditions are important enough to carry over to your relationship? What new traditions do you want to add to your relationship?

I grew up with Christmas Eve turkey dinners and big Christmas brunches with my grandmother almost always joining us for both of those days. My grandmother also hosts her own Christmas gathering the Sunday after Christmas for all of her 25+ grandchildren and great-grandchildren. My partner’s traditions were watching “It’s A Wonderful Life” on Christmas Eve and eating Cinnebons on Christmas morning before opening his three Christmas presents. His parents gave three presents to symbolize the Three Wise Men. We have blended our family traditions together to create our own traditions within our relationship. It’s beautiful and fun and we love it.

I’m inviting you to do the same with your partner. Sit down and discuss which traditions you want to bring into your relationship and what new traditions you’d like to try out. Discuss what these traditions look like, how realistic they are for you as a couple, and why these particular traditions are so important to you.

5 Tips to Help You Explore Old Family Traditions with Your Partner:

1.     Schedule a time to have this conversation when you both are present and calm

2.     Keep an open mind + let go of any judgment or shame around the idea of family traditions

3.     Be curious! Ask your partner to “tell me more” when they are explaining why their family traditions are so important to them

4.     What values of yours are being honored with these family traditions? What values of your partner’s are being honored with these family traditions?

5.     Actively listen to your partner. Practice acknowledging + validating them. Make them feel heard. Remember, you don’t have to agree with them to make them feel heard.

Family and holiday traditions can be difficult conversations to have because they are part of our childhood. There may be some trauma around certain family traditions and there may be a lot of joy and memories around other family traditions. Understanding your partner’s perspective is an important part of creating your own traditions together.

What family and holiday traditions are important to you? Have you effectively communicated them to your partner?

If you would like help exploring family and holiday traditions and creating your own traditions in your relationship, please schedule a Discovery Call with me! I’d be happy to explore this with you.

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Thumbnail photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash