Practicing Growth in Your Relationship
3 Ways to Practice Growth in Your Relationship + Why It’s Important for the Health of Your Relationship
Photo by Suzanne D. Williams on Unsplash
Why is growing in your relationship important and what do I mean by that? Growth in any relationship is important because as humans, we are always changing. As William Burroughs said, “when you stop growing you start dying”. The same can be said for our relationships. If we stop growing in our relationships, they can become stagnant, dull, and loveless.
Growth happens on an individual level and on a relationship level and it’s important to acknowledge this growth with your partner. As individuals, growth occurs as you learn new skills, tools, and knowledge while working, studying for a higher degree, meeting and making new friends, starting new hobbies, reading new books, and many other things. This growth often occurs quietly and may not be noticed even by the individual until some time and consistency has cemented the growth.
As partners, it’s important that we check in regularly with our partners and discuss their growth, their journey and goals towards further individual growth, if there is anything we can do to help support and encourage them, and to accept this new person as our partner. Growth changes people and it’s important that we accept and love this new version of our partner rather than resent them or ignore the growth they are pursuing.
When one partner grows, the other benefits if they work towards growth as well. As partners, having individual hobbies and spending time alone is beneficial, but spending too much time separately, or intentionally spending time away from your partner to hurt them is harmful to the relationship. Finding common interests, hobbies, and intentionally scheduling consistent date nights is an important part of your relationship together.
Growing together in the relationship means that you are reaching out to each other for love, support, intimacy, and connection. You are turning towards your partner first rather than turning towards a friend or sibling for support during times of struggle. Growing together in your relationship is consciously making the decision to connect and check in with your partner regularly, whether that’s once a week for the more general day-to-day check-ins or once a month or year to discuss how you each have grown since the last check-in.
Some questions to ask each other during this once-a-month or once-a-year check-in can be:
In what ways have I best supported your growth over the past month/year?
How I can better support you to reach your next desired milestone for growth?
What are your goals for growth and our relationship over the next month/year?
Why are these important to you?
How would you like us to grow together over the next month/year?
Would you like to start a new hobby together, set a goal of hiking a different mountain every weekend or twice a month, try a new restaurant once a month, learn a new relationship skill, practice a new language together, etc.
So how can you practice growth in your relationship?
There are many ways to practice growth in your relationship. Today I am sharing three ways to practice growth in your relationship, but you can download my guide 8 Ways to Practice Growth in Your Relationship to learn more and I encourage you to do so!
Sign up for a Couples Retreat together. You can join my email list to be the first to know about my next Couples Retreat!
Travel together. Travel can be challenging and it has a way of providing couples the opportunity to grow together while exploring new places and trying new activities together.
Schedule routine check-ins. You can use the questions I’ve provided above to help you start your routine check-ins. This allows you both the opportunity to discuss and explore different ways you each want the relationship to grow and create steps to reach those goals while supporting each other on individual levels.
If you are struggling to create growth in your relationship or on an individual level, I invite you to schedule a Discovery Call with me! We can discuss how Relationship Coaching may be beneficial for the growth of your relationship and what that would look like. I look forward to hearing from you!
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Thumbnail Photo by Suzanne D. Williams on Unsplash
