How to Move Past Resentment in Your Relationship
5 Ways to Recover from Resentment in Your Relationship
Photo by Kristina Litvjak on Unsplash
Resentment in your romantic relationship, or any relationship, can be extremely painful and emotionally draining. It can sneak up on anyone, even couples who have been happily committed for years. Resentment is the result of you thinking someone has treated you unfairly and can be a combination of anger, contempt, and frustration with your partner or a recurring situation within your relationship. If you want to learn more about how to spot resentment in your relationship, you can check out my blog post Resentment in Your Relationship here.
Today we’ll look at five ways that may help you move past resentment in your relationship:
Acknowledge the resentment in yourself. If you’re afraid to acknowledge your resentment, why is that? What value and outcomes have you associated your resentment with?
Explore your role in the resentment you are feeling. For example, what emotional triggers may be playing a part in the resentment you feel? How are your actions making your partner feel? How does the way you speak to your partner affect the way they are treating you?
Address your resentment and the relationship issue(s) it revolves around with your partner. Don’t attack, blame, or shame your partner during this discussion. The point of this conversation is to calmly and honestly share your resentment with your partner, take responsibility for how you’ve been allowing your resentment to affect your relationship, and discuss your relationship expectations around these issues.
Pray and seek forgiveness from your partner. When we allow resentment to infiltrate our relationship, we often allow it to affect our moods, behaviors, and words to our partners and end up treating them poorly. Which often has the effect of pushing them away and possibly causing them to react by further continuing the behavior that is causing your resentment.
Learn how to effectively communicate and express your feelings. Communication skills are something we all need to build and practice consistently and many of us have not had great role models in this department. Learning how to develop your own healthy communication skills can greatly increase the happiness and success of your relationship - and many other areas of your life including your friendships, your career, and your relationship with your parents, siblings, and other extended family members.
Bonus: in the future, practice addressing relationship issues as they occur. Don’t allow them to fester and grow to the point where you are feeling resentment towards your partner. By addressing issues in the present, you are helping to build a solid foundation for your relationship - whether you’ve been together for two months or twenty years.
If you are struggling with acknowledging and healing from resentment in your relationship, you can schedule a Discovery Call with me and we can discuss how relationship coaching may be incredibly beneficial to your relationship!
