Healthy Communication Methods
13 Ways to Improve Healthy Communication in Your Relationship
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
As we’ve focused on communication in relationships this month, I wanted to share 13 ways to improve healthy communication in your relationships. Effective communication is vital to any relationship, be it romantic, platonic, or professional. In a romantic relationship, communication is especially important as it is the foundation of trust, intimacy, and understanding. However, communication is often easier said than done, and many couples struggle with expressing themselves and understanding their partners.
13 Ways to Improve Healthy Communication in Your Relationship:
Practice active listening: Active listening is a key component of effective communication. It involves fully focusing on your partner's words and emotions, rather than simply waiting for your turn to speak. When your partner is speaking, put aside distractions such as your phone, music, video games, or tv shows, and give them your full attention. Try to understand their perspective and validate their feelings by repeating back what they said and acknowledging their emotions. Your eagerness to hear them is not only validating their feelings but is an essential part of establishing healthy levels of communication.
Be mindful of your body language: Body language is a powerful tool in communication. It can often convey more than words alone. Be mindful of your body language when speaking with your partner, as it can affect the message you are trying to convey. Make eye contact, avoid crossing your arms, and lean in towards your partner to show that you are engaged and interested in what they have to say.
Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements: When expressing your feelings or concerns, it is important to use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. "You" statements can come across as accusatory or blaming, whereas "I" statements express your feelings and allow your partner to understand how you are affected by a situation. For example, instead of saying "You never listen to me," try saying "I feel unheard when we don't have meaningful conversations."
Don't interrupt or talk over your partner: Interrupting or talking over your partner can be frustrating and disrespectful. It can also prevent effective communication and make it difficult for your partner to express themselves fully. Allow your partner to finish their thoughts before responding, and try not to interject with your own ideas or opinions until they have had a chance to speak their mind.
Avoid using absolutes: Using words like "always". "never", “nothing”, or “everything” can be damaging to communication in a relationship. These words can come across as accusatory and make your partner feel attacked or defensive. Instead, use more specific language to describe situations or behaviors, and focus on how they make you feel. For example, instead of saying "You always ignore me," try saying "When you don't respond to my messages, I feel like you don't care about me."
Schedule regular check-ins: Regular check-ins can be a helpful way to improve communication in your relationship. Set aside time each week to talk about how you are both feeling, any issues or concerns you may have, ways you can support each other, what you each did well this week, and where you each could improve in the future. This can help prevent misunderstandings or miscommunications from building up and becoming bigger problems.
Don't assume your partner knows what you're thinking or feeling: It can be easy to assume that your partner knows what you're thinking or feeling, especially if you have been together for a long time. However, this assumption can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Make an effort to express your thoughts and feelings clearly, even if they seem obvious to you. This can help prevent miscommunications and ensure that both partners are on the same page. To learn more about how assumptions can negatively affect your relationship, check out this blog post.
Practice empathy: Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Practicing empathy can be a powerful way to improve communication in your relationship. When your partner is expressing their emotions, try to put yourself in their shoes and understand where they are coming from. This can help you respond in a way that is supportive and validating, rather than dismissive or defensive.
Practice gratitude and appreciation: Expressing gratitude and appreciation towards your partner can go a long way in improving communication in your relationship. Make an effort to acknowledge the things your partner does for you and express gratitude for their efforts. This can create a positive and supportive atmosphere in your relationship, and make it easier for both partners to communicate openly and honestly. Additionally, feeling appreciated can motivate your partner to continue making efforts to communicate effectively and strengthen your relationship.
It’s you against the problem, not you against each other: often when couples fight, they feel as if they have to “win” the argument, but “winning” an argument doesn’t help anyone in the relationship. Instead, work towards a solution that you both agree with and fight the problem - together, not each other. For example, instead of fighting about who was supposed to clean the house, discuss different roles that you’re both able to take on and feel comfortable with so that the majority of the housework doesn’t fall on one person.
Welcome the questions: A common cause for overstimulating discussions between couples is the onset of questioning. When you have created a comfortable space to speak freely with your partner, it should be inclusive of the questions we ask in those conversations. Eliminate the ego that says you’re being questioned and be confident enough to answer with direct consideration for your partner’s needs.
Practice pausing and emotionally regulating your feelings: When it’s time to confront a topic within your relationship, be sure to process the problem and your personal feelings clearly before discussing the problem with your partner. Starting a conversation with a calm, neutral tone is what helps us reach a successful understanding. When we can regulate our thinking, we can better control our emotions during tense moments of communication.
Show compassion: Communication requires compassion. It is difficult to avoid self-absorbing thoughts and how they consume a conversation and ultimately hinder the connection. But if we practice communicating with compassion, we are able to bring more empathy, intimacy, calmness, and openmindedness into the conversation.
There are many other ways to improve healthy communication but it’s up to you to figure out which ways work best for you, your partner, and your relationship. Improving communication is not a quick-fix, one-size-fits-all process. It takes the awareness that you can improve, the desire to improve, and consistent effort to make the changes necessary to improve communication in your relationship. Sometimes you may get it right the first time, and sometimes you may fail. And that is okay. When you’re in a committed relationship, you’ve made the commitment to always continually be working for the benefit of the relationship.
5 Reasons to Always Work on Improving Communication:
Builds trust: Effective communication builds trust between partners. When both partners feel heard, understood, and respected, it creates a safe environment where they can open up and be vulnerable with each other.
Prevents misunderstandings: Misunderstandings can occur when communication is unclear or ineffective. When partners work on improving communication, it can prevent misunderstandings from escalating into bigger problems or conflicts.
Strengthens intimacy: Communication is a key component of intimacy in a relationship. When partners feel comfortable expressing their desires and needs, it can lead to deeper levels of intimacy and connection.
Resolves conflict: Effective communication can help resolve conflicts in a healthy and productive way. When partners are able to express their concerns and listen to each other, it can lead to finding solutions and compromises that work for both parties.
Enhances overall relationship satisfaction: Good communication can lead to a more satisfying and fulfilling relationship. When partners feel heard, respected, and supported, it can lead to a stronger sense of connection and happiness in the relationship.
Improving communication is crucial for building a healthy and successful relationship. Effective communication builds trust, prevents misunderstandings, strengthens intimacy, resolves conflicts, and enhances overall relationship satisfaction. Good communication requires ongoing effort and practice, but the benefits are significant for both partners. If you are struggling to practice healthy communication in your relationship, I invite you to schedule a Discovery Call with me to explore how relationship coaching may benefit you and your relationship!
