A Week of Thanks
Setting Healthy Boundaries to Help You Enjoy the Holiday Season
Photo by Jessica Delp on Unsplash
“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
It’s Thanksgiving week! If you’re American, you’re probably working a half-day on Wednesday, get Thursday off, and maybe are even able to take Friday off as well. It’s a time of thanksgiving, of faith, of family, community, and connection. And stress. So much stress.
It’s hard to be thankful and enjoy the time with your family when you are spending so much time worrying and stressing about the success of the holiday. It’s perfectly normal to experience this stress during the holidays. It’s even normal to dread the holidays because of how much work and stress you will be managing during this time!
So how can you start enjoying the holidays more? How can you actually practice gratitude during the week of Thanksgiving without crumbling under the stress and expectations of the holiday?
Start by creating, communicating, and maintaining healthy boundaries with your friends and family. Healthy boundaries can be incredibly helpful. They help you keep your sanity while keeping you close to those you love. Even God has boundaries. He lays out His boundaries in the Ten Commandments. God tells us how He feels loved and what He needs from. He sets the example for us to follow.
Have you told your friends and family how you feel loved and what you need from them to have a successful holiday season? How do you prioritize your own self-care during the holidays? If you don’t prioritize your self-care, you probably dread the holidays each year because you give 100% of yourself to the success and enjoyment of everyone else’s holiday, but don’t stop to take some time for yourself. And that’s a very normal experience.
But today, I’m challenging you to a different experience. I want you to take some time to discover what your boundaries are, communicate those boundaries to those in your life, and maintain those boundaries in your life.
5 Questions to Explore to Help You Discover Your Boundaries:
What are your values? How do these values show up in your life? How do you honor these values? Why are your values important to you?
How do protect your values? If you don’t protect your values, why is that?
In what areas of your life have you had success communicating and maintaining effective boundaries in the past? What worked well in those situations? How did those boundaries benefit you?
What is stopping you from communicating and maintaining your values and boundaries now? How is this fear protecting and serving you? How is it harming you?
How will your life, relationship, and self-care improve once you successfully communicate and maintain healthy boundaries in your life?
Once you’ve established your boundaries and have communicated them to those in your life, you may have to reinforce those boundaries. This takes time and practice and that’s okay. Don’t judge yourself or others if you have to reaffirm a boundary. But make sure that you do enforce it.
Boundaries can help you manage “helpful” family members or in-laws during the holidays as well. Some people may have a hard time respecting your boundaries, but this is why you need to clearly communicate and consistently maintain your boundaries. If people continue to disregard your boundaries, then you may need to sit down and have a serious conversation with them about it. This may be a difficult conversation to have but it is necessary. And again, ensure you are taking care of yourself. Pray or meditate before having these conversations, check in with yourself after having these conversations and take time for yourself. Go for a walk, spend time with God, take a nap, or buy yourself something special as a reward for having these conversations.
Boundaries help you take better care of yourself which in turn can help you enjoy the holidays more and stay more present in the moment when you’re with loved ones. Take some time this holiday season to have fun! Build fun and play into your daily routine for the next week and see how you feel.
Some examples of having fun are flirting with your partner, playing various board or card games, puzzles, outdoor recreational activities (mountain biking, skiing, hiking, etc.), consensual sexual games, seeing a comedy show, participating in a murder mystery dinner, etc. You can build fun into almost any activity if you try. How will you build fun into your week this Thanksgiving season?
If you are struggling with setting boundaries, please schedule a Discovery Call with me! I’d be happy to explore this area with you.
If you are looking for inspiration on how to express gratitude and appreciation for your partner, check out my FREE guide 30 Days of Gratitude for Your Partner!
Happy Thanksgiving!
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Thumbnail photo by Jessica Delp on Unsplash
